I blinked, and here I am—standing confidently in my fabulous 50s.
👠 Lessons From My 20’s
In my 20s, life was loud. I chased the dream, the job, the shoes, the love. I believed in pushing through exhaustion and surviving on ambition. But just shy of 30, I lost my dad—and that’s when I truly learnt how to grieve. That pain taught me the weight of absence. It showed me the quiet strength of moving ahead with a piece of your heart missing. From that decade, I learnt resilience and the joy of unapologetic boldness. I also discovered the value of sleep. Even if it took another 20 years to honour it.
🧩 What My 30s Really Taught Me
My 30s taught me that life doesn’t follow a checklist. I carried the grief with me, reshaping my expectations and questioning everything I thought I knew. This decade was about unlearning, healing, and learning to show up in rooms I didn’t feel ready for. The 30s brought self-awareness and the beginnings of boundaries—though I hadn’t quite figured out how to hold them firm yet.
🧯 When the Wheels Wobbled: My 40s
Then came my 40s. This is when the wheels truly started wobbling. I became a mum – later than most, but at exactly the right time for me. I also experienced another grief. I lost my mum and was denied the chance to fully grieve. This was because of how my siblings treated me. It fractured something I was only just beginning to hold together. My 40s taught me about betrayal, burnout, boundaries, and the bitter clarity that comes when people reveal themselves. I’ve overcome the power I once handed to my siblings. I tried to piece back together the loving family unit my parents built. Instead, I’ve chosen family—people who show up, hold space, and honour the truth. As for my siblings? I now refer to them, with a wry smile, as the Fool, the Fruitcake, and the Filcher. It taught me to start prioritising my mental health. I learned to recognise that holding it all together can sometimes mean losing yourself.
💃 And now that I’m finding my way through my 50s, these lessons feel like gentle guides:
- From my 20s: Keep the boldness, honour the grief.
- From my 30s: That juggling isn’t the same as thriving and I was stronger than I thought. Even when I didn’t feel it.
- From my 40s: That being “fine” is sometimes the most dangerous lie. Protect your peace, fiercely and without apology.
My 50s won’t be about trying to recapture youth. It’ll be about celebrating all I’ve become and carrying on what truly matters. No longer chasing—just living fully in who I already am. Stepping into my 50s I have already learnt:
- Joy that isn’t earned – just chosen
- Rest as a ritual, not a reward
🧡 If You’re Here Too…
If you’re standing at the edge of a new season wondering, Who am I now? You’re in good company.
